


Swimming In Jell-O

by HMSquared



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Anxious Mirage | Elliott Witt, Autism, Crying, Dialogue Heavy, Inspired by Real Events, Laughter, Psychologists & Psychiatrists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28950720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMSquared/pseuds/HMSquared
Summary: Even after all these years, Mirage still learns new things about himself.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Swimming In Jell-O

**Author's Note:**

> I have the autism version of a gaydar: basically, I can tell when someone is autistic. Mirage sets it off for me, and I also have very similar mannerisms to him.
> 
> GalaxyCon Raleigh is today, so I’m going to ask if any other Legends besides Wattson are autistic. Even if Mirage isn’t (which I’ll be very surprised by), who knows? Anything could happen.
> 
> Enjoy!

Mirage found himself on a bench, waiting. The psychologist was in her office, looking everything over.

He got an appointment at Lifeline’s gentle suggestion. Horizon agreed. And although he would never admit it, Mirage was curious. He’d always felt… different then other people.

The door opened. She was ready for him.

“Did I pass with flying colors, doc?” Dr. Booth had short brown hair pulled into a bun. Black framed glasses balanced on her nose as she smiled.

“I’m not worried, if that’s what you mean.” Mirage chuckled at that. His eyes fell to the shelf behind her. There were books of different colors and shapes, outlining various medical conditions. He blinked. “Elliott?”

“Sorry?” Another smile from the good doctor.

“I’m ready to give your results.” Mirage nodded, repositioning himself in the chair. Dr. Booth opened the folder in front of her.

“Well, Elliott, there are a couple of things I saw. During our testing, you exhibited symptoms for ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder.” Mirage knew the first one from Horizon and the second one wasn’t a surprise.

“I’m a bundle of quirks. Good to know.” Dr. Booth didn’t return his smile this time.

“Based on everything from testing, there is one other thing.” He swallowed in anticipation. “How familiar are you with autism spectrum disorder?”

Mirage blinked. The words danced in his brain. He tried to think.

“My friend Wattson told me she’s autistic. Is that the same thing?” Dr. Booth smiled and nodded.

“Yes.”

“And… sorry if this sounds rude, but what makes you think I am too?”

“You exhibited a lot of symptoms that aren’t just general quirkiness. Not that quirkiness is a bad thing.” Dr. Booth tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I read over interviews from other Legends, and you tend to miss social cues. You also hyper-fixate on certain things.” When Mirage blinked, she tried again. “When you find something you like, you can’t do or think about anything else.”

“That… all sounds about right, actually.” His eyes drifted to a green book on the shelf. The words “Autism and You” were draped across the spine. “Can I see that?”

“Sure.” Admittingly surprised, Dr. Booth passed it to him. Mirage opened the book to a list of symptoms.

“Hyperfixation, inappropriate social behavior, repetition of words, compulsions, and anxiety are all common signs of autism.”

“Elliott, are you all right?” Looking up, Mirage realized he was crying.

“I… I understand now.” He sat there for five minutes, holding the book in his hands. Dr. Booth silently watched with understanding eyes.

Mirage left her office with a couple of names for therapists. He looked up at the sky.

It made sense. The detachment and desire to belong… Mirage now had a name for the feelings.

He collapsed onto a bench, suddenly overwhelmed. No one else was around. Mirage swallowed. After a moment, he laughed. Frequently emotional reactions were another symptom.

Fumbling, he dialed Wattson’s phone number. Their experiences weren’t exactly the same, but maybe she could help.

**Author's Note:**

> If you’re curious, a lot of this is based on my (positive) experiences with educational testing. Dr. Booth is autistic as well (i.e. she’s a thinly veiled expy of me).


End file.
